MARY LOUISE KELLY, HOST:
Here in D.C., it is starting to feel like fall outside, which means if it's fall, it's apple season. But which apple? - Honeycrisp, Granny Smith, Red Delicious - you know, the classic. Well, if you have ever wondered this, there is a website you should visit. It is called applerankings.com. Now, this started as a joke. It has blossomed into something of an essential guide for apple lovers. Comedian Brian Frange runs the website. Brian, welcome. Happy apple season to you.
BRIAN FRANGE: Yes, happy apple season. It's the most wonderful time of the year. I know a lot of people say the holiday season's the most wonderful time of the year, but those people are wrong. It's apple season.
KELLY: (Laughter) So, OK, talk me through the rankings. You rank them on a scale of 1 to 100, which starts with - I guess the lowest batch would be apple hell, including - give me some of the subcategories there.
FRANGE: Many apples fall into the horse food category, which are apples that are not meant for human consumption. And it goes all the way up to the immaculate apple, which I have yet to discover.
KELLY: How seriously do you take all this? I did introduce you as a comedian.
FRANGE: Yes. I take this with the utmost of seriousness. This is my life's work. Most people don't know me as a comedian. Most people don't know me.
KELLY: (Laughter).
FRANGE: But if they do know me, they know me as a person who ranks apples. And I've made it my life's purpose to find every single apple variety that exists on this planet, taste it and rank it. And I think that's a good enough life to live. I mean, what else is there?
KELLY: Ah, I love it. What is your most controversial pick?
FRANGE: Currently, on my website, the McIntosh apple is ranked 50 out of 100, and in my comments section, you might see a ton of people telling me I'm wrong, this puts my entire ranking system into question, that I should be ashamed of myself. And, you know, on the rare occasion, I get an email threatening bodily harm. And so I decided every year, I'm going to find a McIntosh apple and try it. And this year, I literally went to an orchard during peak McIntosh season, and I asked a farmer to give me their best McIntosh apples. And this farmer assured me, these are the ripest. These are the best McIntoshs you can find. And I tried it. And the end result is I am going to lower the score.
KELLY: (Laughter).
FRANGE: It was worse than I remembered.
KELLY: (Laughter) Let me end by asking which apples do you actually like? What's your favorite?
FRANGE: Well, for many years, my No. 1 apple was the SweeTango apple. But I do have a fear that - and this is the first time I'm ever saying this out loud, publicly. I am a little concerned about the quality and future of the SweeTango apple. I truly hope that the quality remains, but there have been several inconsistent seasons. And it worries me because I have it ranked No. 1, and my reputation stands behind the quality of this apple. And when a consumer tries a SweeTango and it's not quite as good as I made it out to be, then my entire life's legacy is undermined.
KELLY: Well, I will join you in sending hopes and love to the SweeTango, and hope that that is not your fate. Brian, thanks so much for talking us through it.
FRANGE: My pleasure.
KELLY: Brian Frange - he's creator and curator of applerankings.com. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.
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