COMMENTARY:
I heard an old phrase for the first time in decades recently when a fellow volunteer at the community radio station said she was bothered by how casually young people use profanity these days, especially “in mixed company.”
I was probably five or six years old when my grandfather first explained that concept to me and my cousin Johnny. We were tagging along behind him as he tended a small field next to the house when grandpa did something that caused him to blurt out the word “shirt” without the “r.”
Johnny and I stood stunned and wide-eyed, having been admonished repeatedly about the guilt and shame associated with that word and other words of its ilk. Then grandpa explained to us that those were “men’s words.” It was OK to use those words as long as we were with other men. But, if he ever caught us using them around girls or women, especially our moms, there would be trouble.
Looking back on it now, I think that double standard served me poorly as I grew into my teens and started taking an interest in girls. It took me a while to get over the notion that cursing was OK for me but unseemly for them.
My grandfather was a fair and wise man. His words to my cousin and me that day reflected the prevailing thinking of the time. How was he to know how quickly things would change?
When I moved here in 2002 there was a tradition at NMSU basketball games where each time an opposing player missed a free throw the student section would shout, “Nice shot a**hole!” I wrote a column back then saying the chant bothered me because if my mom were still alive and came to visit, I couldn’t take her to a basketball game.
Hers was probably the last generation to be shocked by profanity. It was a scandal in 1979 when Jimmy Carter was caught on a hot mic saying, “F*** the Shah,” in reference to the ailing leader of Iran. Now, politicians strategically mix in f-bombs and other previously forbidden words in order to seem hip or edgy. Or, in the case of our president, to express rage and fury.
FCC regulations against profanity on radio and television only apply to use of the public airways. That was a huge selling point in the early days of HBO. They were able to offer movies, music and comedy exactly as the artists had intended, without a censor bleeping out the best parts.
At the start, most other cable networks adhered to FCC guidelines as a matter of taste, but they weren’t required to. Now, it’s a lot looser. It seemed like once CNN started airing Bill Maher’s show on the weekends, they became a lot less concerned about profanity.
If my generation is to blame for this shift, and it probably is, then I must accept my share of the responsibility. I lost my inhibitions regarding “men’s words” long ago.
But I’m not sure that blame is the right way to look at it.
Placing certain words off limits and declaring them to be taboo only serves to increase the power of those words.
The recent increase in the use of profanity is, undoubtedly, a lowering of standards. But the question is, were those standards ever serving a needed purpose?
Walter Rubel can be reached at waltrubel@gmail.com
Walt Rubel's opinions are his own and do not necessarily reflect the views of KRWG Public Media or NMSU.