In health news, Dr. Melanie Longhurst explains the stresses that can come at graduation time. Here is a transcript of her conversation with KC Counts:
KC Counts:
I think a lot of people think about graduation time as nothing but exciting. New adventures await you. The world is your oyster. Oh, the places we will go! And I imagine that part of that is what might be driving some stress in folks because we might not know the places we're headed to yet. What do you have to say about this time of year and the different stresses it can bring?
Dr. Melanie Longhurst:
Yeah, absolutely. You're not wrong, KC. And that can bring a flood of different emotions. I think a lot of times we expect that we're going to feel one way or the other, but it's also okay to have mixed emotions, to have the excitement, but also feel worried or anxious about our future. The uncertainty can bring, you know, even comparisons that can be made where we see others who already know what they're going to do, where they're going to I was one of those folks that had a path in mind, but not very clear. I didn't know what that would look like. And I didn't know definitively. And so different folks are in different places. Currently the job market too can be very challenging because it may look different from when folks maybe started college. In terms of high school, just this notion that we're supposed to know where we're going to be, I can think back to those days and I think it's really hard to know where you're going to end up. I look forward to that.
KC Counts:
And you mentioned that things look different. I mean, in just the last four years, let's say this graduating class, AI has changed a lot of things. And we've looked around at different graduation speakers around the country talking about AI and boos erupting from the student crowd there because it brings a lot of stress about what future opportunities are there in the field that they just graduated in.
Dr. Melanie Longhurst:
And they're not alone. And so when that person is feeling alone in that worry or concern, and then you have their professors or teachers or instructors who are out there, This is also new for them. So they're trying to support their students in ways that maybe they weren't expecting this. And these collective boos, it's not like you're going through this and whatever you're feeling is wrong or not okay and you're the only one.
So in mental health, I'm very fortunate and privileged to be a psychologist and sit across from people sharing a lot of their inner experiences in ways that they don't share with other people. across the board, what I see is very similar experiences across different people I talk to. But we hold these things inside and we don't always speak them outwardly. And so we may be looking around and seeing all these celebrations online or other people and maybe thinking, I'm the only one who's worried or not sure what I want to do. I don't know the places I'm going to go. I'm kind of unsure about my financial future. What about these loans? What career path do I want to choose? What major if I'm graduating from high school? Maybe I wasn't at the point in my class where I was expecting to be, right?
And we have all these expectations for ourselves. People have expectations for us. But when we talk to other people and we share those, you can start to learn like, wow, other people feel similarly to me. It's not just about the celebratory nature. And so I would welcome folks to kind of embrace both, right? The joy of the moment. of the accomplishments that you made. A lot of times we're really hard on ourselves. We didn't accomplish what we wanted or we didn't get to the point we thought we should be. Then it takes away from the joy of the moment.
So being able to embrace that and have fun and to celebrate and to open yourself up to that and then think, okay, uncertainty, I can reframe that into possibility, right? Where is this gonna go? Talking to others, sharing how you're feeling, reaching out to mentors, to advisors, to people who have maybe been down this road before or something similar, reaching out to professionals, to career centers, advising centers at colleges, talking to mentors that maybe you trust about how you're feeling and then seeing what they have to say. And many times will feel validated.
KC Counts:
I wanted to touch on some of the things too that I think for many people leaving high school or college would be things to grieve. And that's maybe leaving behind a beloved sports program or extracurricular activity.
Dr. Melanie Longhurst:
Right, yeah. So grief can come in many ways. So you might be having to say goodbye to your friends, to your mentors, to parts of your identity, right? And so let's say you are somebody who's been an athlete for most of your life, and now this might be one of the final games that you've played, or you're going to move on into another facet of your life where your role and identity changes. And that's something that comes with grief, whether it's the loss of something, someone, a role, there's transformation involved, there's change, there's evolution.
And I don't think we talk about those things enough. And also, again, normalize and validate those feelings and those experiences that this is excitement and joy, new beginnings, but with new beginnings also come endings. And that can be tough, right? And so again, it's this embracing of various emotions that we all experience at different times of our life.
KC Counts:
And I've heard you drive home the message that you're not alone and that there are other people feeling the same things. And I think more than ever, people are reluctant to speak to others. because of that device that's taking up so much of our time, because of the onset of even chatbots, right? So what do you recommend for young people who are going through these transitions or people of any age who are in terms of reaching out? We hear time and time again, 988 is a number to call, but we think of that as a crisis line. That is a crisis line. And someone might say, well, that's not me. So where do you start?
Dr. Melanie Longhurst:
Yeah, we'll start with somebody that you trust, that you know personally. Trying to make a personal connection, maybe not virtually, not through text, not through e-mail, not through a chatbot. But we can't glean people's emotions all the time very accurately through virtual means. So maybe trying to connect with them, meet up with them for coffee. Know your resources. I have a family member who's graduating and looking forward to a career, which I know a lot about. And so I'm like, have you not reached out to me? At the end of the day too, just because AI and technology is such a big part of our lives does not mean that people aren't behind all of this. And so just going in, right, if you're looking for a job, it doesn't hurt to go into a place and say, hi, this is who I am. Putting a face to the name, to the experiences, to the resume that's available to you. Reaching out to people that you know, being able to network and connect. Again, talking to other people, your friends, your family members, somebody that you trust to say like, this is what I'm worried about or scared about. If you would rather talk to and feel more comfortable talking to a stranger, going to a college counseling center, going to an advisor, reaching out to professional help in It doesn't always have to be virtual. There are people like me who still do in-person visits. And oftentimes I do find that many of my patients prefer that. But if there are transportation barriers or just really limitations in terms of access to mental health or talking to somebody, a virtual option is absolutely fine. But not losing sight that there are still people behind these computers on the other side of a phone. And that does not adequately take the place of like virtual means and AI do not adequately take the place of having another person who isn't just going to feed you kind of an algorithmic response, but maybe support you in other ways that you actually need.
