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Your Unknown Role in the World

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The first time I saw her was at a concert. She had a low-cut back to her dress, and you could see the white straight line that looked drawn on her spine. I tapped my boyfriend and whispered to look at it; that's what my scar could have looked like if they hadn't cut into it twice.

Most people with scoliosis surgery have it once. When their scar heals, hers was a typical look: a small line that doesn't get a lot of questions. When you get the surgery twice within about a year and a half — one in an emergency when there wasn't enough time to order the right sutures, the ones your body breaks down internally — you get the gnarled mess that I carry on my back. The second time around, the stitches healed into my wound as I laid on them, and when it came time to remove them, a good deal of them bled.

I used to say that the scar itself didn't bother me because I didn't see myself from the back. I saw the stiffness, which has somewhat softened over time because I've adapted. I've been told I walk like someone who plays piano — I do not — instead of someone who does a mean robot impression. But the barbs still sting when they come. A while back, a very young family member pantomimed my stiffness, and an adult mimicked her. Thinking I hadn't seen them, they had a good laugh. Ouch.

I expected more mocking lines as a child when I had the surgeries but didn't seem to hear those then. I listened to my internal worries more about how my scoliosis would play out in my future. Would a new partner touch my spine and pull back in disgust? Would my body be able to grow children without hurting me or damaging fusions due to weight? I had no idea and no one to ask. Pediatricians or family doctors would peer at my back with professional curiosity, but no one had any real insight.

However, I kept regularly seeing the girl from the concert around campus for years. Sometimes I'd go months without a sighting, but she'd give me a strange hope. Once, she walked in a unique but familiarly stark upright way, arm-in-arm with a good-looking guy. Then, she paced across campus with a larger belly. Later, she was pushing a stroller. The last time I saw her, she sat on a campus lawn. One toddler was dancing in front of her, and she held another baby in her arms.

Thanks to her, I rode on renewed faith that I could have a similar future. And I do, with two kids — and one good-looking guy — of my own. This random woman, with a similar story of her own, won't ever truly know how much value she had in my life. In just being herself, she gave me hope.

As June is National Scoliosis Awareness Month, here's my annual pitch: You, too, can have an important role in someone's life if you screen them for scoliosis. While scoliosis in kids is rare, it is something to watch for, particularly in girls between 9 and 15, when puberty increases the speed of growth.

Signs of scoliosis in children include the following:

— A more prominent shoulder blade

— A shoulder blade appears higher than the other

— The head does not align perfectly with the rest of the body

— A curve in the spine or middle of the back (easier to see if the child bends over to touch their toes)

— When the child bends forward, one area of the back appears higher than the other

— Uneven hips

— Uneven waistline

Cassie McClure is a writer, millennial, and unapologetic fan of the Oxford comma. She can be contacted at cassie@mcclurepublications.com.