“I want to be the girl next door. That’s not a euphemism."
That’s the opening line from Ryan Rox’s autobiographical 2022 short film Shipping Them. Quoting from their bio from the website for Femme Frontera, where she is an Artist Support Manager, Ryan “is a queer, non-binary filmmaker, screenwriter, and actor”, born and raised in El Paso but eventually moving to Las Cruces.
“My parents worked on White Sands Missile Range, and so it was a long trek (from El Paso) every day to go to work and school. So they decided at one point to build a house in Las Cruces to make the trip a little easier, and I believe I was ten or eleven years old.”
Ryan developed a passion for film and filmmaking at a very young age
“I feel like I’ve always wanted the spotlight. When I was five or six I used to watch the Academy Awards, and I just knew I wanted to be up there in some capacity; and I didn’t realize that that was accessible to me until much later in life. So I kind of just left it as a dream and tried to pursue other things along the way. And I’m glad that I took the time, because I was able to live a life of full experiences, instead of just only knowing film from being a child.”
Ryan’s original film inspirations were mostly local.
“I started off doing background work on Ross Marks’s 'Walking With Herb'. Then that’s when I really started looking into acting, and so I started acting in independent films in El Paso and NMSU student films. So those peers actually started as inspirations to me. And seeing that you could do it with no money, and no experience…I was originally inspired by them.”
Ryan’s directorial debut was the short film “Crawl”, which came out in 2021.
“It was a pandemic in 2020, and I wanted to have a role for myself that I could act in because we weren’t really acting. And also write for my friends and crew who weren’t able to work at the time, and so that’s when I first made a film, “Crawl”, right here in Las Cruces. The team around me were very impressive, and I learned tons.”
She listed some of the lessons learned from making their first film.
“I love that I wrote with more limits. But I definitely learned that my eyes were bigger than my budget. (laughs) Just writing outdoor scenes, and a bunch of vehicles, and locations…for a first go-around, it was very difficult. So I think I learned how to scale it back and be more realistic about production, and how much goes into it.”
Ryan’s third short film, the autobiographical “Shipping Them”, was the 2022 Femme Frontera Grand Recipient and Official Selection. It was Ryan’s most personal film, touching upon their experience of growing up in El Paso and dealing with, among other topics, Ryan’s difficult relationship with their father. Here’s a clip from the film, narrated by Ryan.
“When I went to my dad’s, I knew I couldn’t be myself. Those weekends were spent at baseball games or at bars or at late night parties throughout El Paso, all filled with drunk, machismo Hispanic men who were raised on toxic masculinity, and knew of no other way of life.
DAD: Mijo, who’s the man? (long pause) Come on, you are. Say it!
YOUNG RYAN: I’m the man.
DAD: Who’s the man?
YOUNG RYAN: I’m the man.
DAD: LOUDER! WHO’S THE MAN?
YOUNG RYAN: I’m the man.
DAD: If you’re not with us, then you’re against us.
Ryan talked about their father’s reaction to the film and its portrayal of him.
“As recent as a couple of months ago on my birthday, I received a text from him. I guess he had probably seen the film is what I’m getting at, and he texted me something about, ‘You’ll always be my son’, and ‘We’ll always be father/son’…it was just a triple-down of making sure I knew that he will never see me as the trans woman or non-binary person that I am.”
Ryan’s latest film, “Hidden Flora”, is their first feature film and is currently in post-production.
“So ‘Hidden Flora’ is another autobiographical piece, this time in a fiction feature format of romantic comedy aspects, and it tackles so much. But the main one is: growing up as a teenager is hard enough. But growing up as a queer youth without sex education is hard to navigate. And so Roxie, in ‘Hidden Flora’, has to find a way to learn how to love and learn what they deserve and how to be loved.”
On the Femme Frontera website, Ryan states that their “primary focus is on telling queer stories from a queer perspective.”
“I don’t think I really saw that many films that spoke to me and how I am and how I feel. So at this point, my goal in filmmaking is to make those stories that kids haven’t seen before. And hopefully, maybe those queer youth will see themselves reflected, and not have to wait as long to know who they are, and know that they’re not alone.”
As for what’s next for Ryan Rox, they said that they “might” be writing a second feature film. For KRWG Public Media, I’m Scott Brocato.
