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Goodman: Look To Our Local And National Examples For Restoring Civil Discourse

Peter Goodman

Commentary: J. Paul Taylor's 98th birthday and U.S. Senator John McCain’s death at 81 spark reflections on civility in political discourse.

For 20 years, J. Paul was “the conscience of the Legislature.” Everyone liked and respected him, although his progressive politics weren't to everyone's liking. At 98, he gets out less and less; but at the annual celebration at Farm and Ranch, he still remembered everyone and greeted well-wishers with that marvelous smile. He can still hold an audience. He was frank and funny discussing uncertainty whether he'd be gone next August or live to 110. He acknowledged that it wasn't up to him. His face expressed joy in the moment – not fear of the next.

McCain invited two men who'd beaten him for the presidency, George Bush and Barack Obama, to eulogize him. That was meant as symbolic advocacy of less partisanship.   

I often disagreed with McCain's views and votes. But how can you not respect him: as a prisoner-of-war, offered the chance for an early release because of his father's high position, McCain declined, because his comrades would remain imprisoned. It's telling that Mr. Trump, despite heavy pressure from his associates, couldn't even bring himself to express respect for McCain initially.  

Is civility in public discourse dying? It seemed so in the decades before the civil war; during FDR's New Deal; and during the turbulent 1960s.But civil political discourse came back after the 1860-65 wildfire; and during the 1960s, senators and congressmen from different parties still dined together or carpooled to their home states for recess. So far, we've always recovered from rampant incivility, which is tiring at best.

How can we begin to recover now? By each pitching in, however we can.

A retired minister I interviewed recently said, “I've met very few evil people in my life.” I'm not sure I've met any. One key to civility is to recall that, despite what all the political memes suggest, people are not evil. Rather, we humans can (sometimes through contortions worthy of a circus performer ) see our acts and words, and those of our political heroes, as right, no matter what. 

Though you may reject someone's belief, rejecting the whole person is unproductive. Fighting the Hydra-headed wrongness of some re-post on Facebook can be diverting, if you like Wac-a-Mole. A better bet is trying to understand them, and the soil their misconceptions thrive in, and asking them reasonable questions, particularly if you can project that despite it all you like them. It helps to find common points, or a shared affection for basketball or babies or bon bons. 

Nowadays, having some haven from politics and constant consciousness of current events is critical. And harder to maintain, when every time you open the computer to write a poem or check a baseball score or gaze lovingly at your grandkids, that Facebook icon demands to be clicked – and gobbles up the next two hours if you let it. But we need breaks from our reasonable worrying about the world's fate. Sit in silence, read, listen to music (or make it), walk outdoors, write a poem.

Insults or slights are poisons people offer you; but you need not drink! Fight only what needs fighting. Letting bitterness devour you helps no one.

Sure, you're angry at Trump – or at George Soros. But let JPT and McCain inspire us to recognize people as neighbors, and rebuilt community.