Commentary: It was a cold autumn morning at Fort Knox as we were brought off of the cattle cars and led into the training area under the cover of darkness. Angry men made of stone and hate commanded us into position with all the magniloquence of rabid pitbulls. The air was cool, heavy, and humid smothering us with a heart chilling loneliness. Anxiety and fear was palatable, we never knew where we were going or what we would do. The only thing that we knew for sure was that the drill sergeants, the men of stone and hate, would punish us for crimes we have not yet committed. Their mission was to work the fear and weakness out of us until we were like them; as hard as stone ready to spread the hate to the enemy. They exercised us until our muscles failed and then they would have us exercise different muscle groups, they would exercise us until we threw up. I’ve low crawled through blood, mud, and vomit and that was just another day at the office. They would exercise us until some people even fell to the ground as if all the life had left their bodies. If a soldier next to you fell out you would have thought you opened the seventh circle of hell if you tried to help him rather than continuing your physical training. I realized quickly that “I can die here; these drill sergeants don’t seem to have any knowledge or concern to the limits of the physical ability of the human body.” I was right too; sometimes people do die in basic training from heat strokes or heart failure. Either they’re pushed to hard or they’re too afraid to quit so their body quits for them and after they fall to the hard unforgiving ground they never again get up. Soldiers in training often break bones and tear ligaments just like any other professional athlete. Once this occurs they go through physical therapy for months where they are treated like an inferior being, like a quitter, like a broken piece of equipment. The “broke dicks”, as they are affectionately referred to by the Non-Commissioned Officers [NCO’s] are eventually recycled into training or they’re discharged from the military entirely. It’s a very rough way to earn a pay check, for some it’s worse than others, some soldiers are damaged permanently. Every aspect of military life is a challenge; a challenge you either conquer or get crushed by. Some days you’re the statue standing defiantly but slowly weathering in the elements, but every once in a while you get to be the bird on top of the statue and you live for those triumphant moments no matter how fleeting they are. No matter the outcome however, every soldier is forever changed from their experience, it’s burned into their soul like the mark of Cain, a brand courtesy of the drill sergeants.
The soldiers in basic training are indoctrinated with the warrior ethos from the very beginning. They are forced to memorize the Soldier’s Creed from day zero. Like some sort of overt mind programming we were forced to etch those specific and carefully chosen words into our minds. We spent hours yelling the creed over and over in cadence; “I am an American soldier, I am a warrior and a member of a team. I serve the people of the United States and live the Army Values. I always place the mission first. I will never accept defeat. I will never quit. I will never leave a fallen comrade. I am disciplined, physically and mentally tough, trained and proficient in my warrior tasks and drills. I always maintain my arms, my equipment, and myself. I am an expert and I am professional. I stand ready to deploy, engage, and destroy the enemies of the United States of America in close combat. I am a guardian of freedom and the American way of life. I am an American soldier”. The other platoons would often be treated to the audible delight that was my tone deaf platoon being forced to sing the National Anthem over and over again in the Command Quarters hallway. When we went on marches we had other cadences we’d sing to keep everyone stepping in line and on time. The drill sergeant would start the cadence and we’d have a response; “a 1-2-3-4!” “shoot him in the head shoot him in the head kill ‘em!” “a 1-2-3-4!” “Reload and shoot him again!”. On the bayonet course they would yell “What makes the grass grow green?!” to which our response was “Blood, blood, bright red blood!” These were a couple of the acceptable cadences for the US Army in 2008. I was informed that ever popular Christmas cadence Walking in a Sniper Wonderland had been banned by the top brass. Despite the banning of certain cadences there was still plenty of political incorrectness echoing through the hills and valleys, up Agony, down Misery, and rolling over Fiddler’s Green to amuse all the old cav. These soldiers proudly singing cadences about killing were kids; 18 and 19 years old. One kid in my platoon was only 17, his buckteeth, fiery red hair, and freckles inspired curiosity. It seemed like so long since I had been that young and untraveled, without stress wrinkles and scars from rough living. Yet here we were thrown in the same stack of red bricks and mortar a prison without bars, equally worthless. The kid looked like a typical character in a WWII movie that throws up in the landing craft during the beach assault and gets blown up in the first 10 seconds. Hopefully he’s doing well these days; honestly I have no idea where that guy is. He’s probably living the dream with three kids and an ex-wife. The military takes young people like him and alters their minds, it teaches them to kill and it desensitizes them in effort to prepare them for what challenges lie ahead. Despite their best efforts and the intensity of the training the horrors of war ride heavy on every soldier’s back like a ruck of pain; digging into your shoulders, straining your back and weighing you down so you can never fly high on innocence and ignorance ever again.
The point that I’m trying to make is that with all the training you undergo and the indoctrination of the warrior culture you become a different person inevitably, aside from individual combat experience which will even further influence your psychological attributes. When you consider the “Nature VS. Nurture” discussion you can say that the manner in which an individual is nurtured when they are developing can affect their mental resiliency against outside influences and stresses. However; it is said that the male brain specifically is still developing until around the age of 25. Considering this it is obvious that the extreme conditions and circumstances that come with military service, especially during young adulthood, will change an individual’s psychological identity entirely. The military does become a part of your identity; you’re no longer Joe Smith, you’re Joe Smith –Veteran, you’re Joe Smith –The Soldier, you’re Joe Smith the killer, you will never again be just Joe Smith. Whenever you enter a room you scan it in a methodical manner searching for potential threats, weapons, and points of egress. You’re always sizing other men up and making determinations as to whether or not you could defeat them in hand to hand combat if need be. You really don’t like to be watched; if during your scanning you notice someone looking at you more than once you start to wonder why they keep looking at you. Are they sizing you up? Are they judging you because obviously you’re a veteran with your razor haircut, Oakley sunglasses, camo hat, and cargo pants. You never really consider that it may just be coincidence. Maybe the two of you just happened to notice each other more than once in this small crazy world and now that person is wondering why this big weirdo over in the back corner of the room keeps staring at them. It’s not sadistic it’s just the way you’re trained, it’s a routine that you’ve become comfortable with and it has become second nature. The same as you put your pants on one leg at a time every day hopefully, you scan for threats, sit with your back to the wall facing the room, and you’re always aware of your environment. You accept that there is always the potential for violence and you’ve been trained to protect yourself and others if need be.
The acceptance of a violent lifestyle inevitably leads to a dark sense of humor as a coping mechanism, normalizing extreme circumstances like death and violence. If you laugh at a video of a terrorist accidentally blowing himself to pieces, you might be a soldier or a veteran. If you watch an ISIS blooper reel with the Benny Hill theme music playing in the background more than once, you might be a soldier or a veteran. This is not only acceptable to us, it’s normal but to some civilians it may seem barbaric or ghoulish. Veterans understand other veterans and that’s why veteran’s groups are so prevalent and important, because the average civilian just doesn’t understand the social influences behind their mentality. Often times when veterans are out in the civilian workforce they find themselves in very awkward situations because they have difficulty communicating with civilians. Sometimes it’s as if they need an interpreter they can trade cigarettes and DVDs to get viable intel from as to what the correct things are to say to people. The soldier is trained to be clear and direct, they are often brutally honest and without a filter civilians often will consider this rude and brash. Civilians often see things veterans say as being vulgar or borderline psychopathic because of their dark humor. Veterans often become confused because they feel they are acting and saying things in a normal manner, the way they’ve done it since they were first trained at the age of 18. The awkwardness they encounter can often lead them to become socially withdrawn, they may struggle in their domestic relationships, and they may struggle to find or maintain suitable employment. Many veterans suffer from depression because they’re used to being A-Type personalities and being on top of the food chain and now they struggle with basic interactions and the expectations of being a civilian.
Many veterans do not like to ask for help because they feel it’s a sign of weakness so they end up self-medicating with alcohol and/or drugs. They’re trained to push through the pain and achieve the mission however this is a new pain, one that doesn’t go away but constantly festers and throbs when they try to rest. The mission is no longer clear and their objectives can become foggy. Over time self-medicating can metastasize into another problem all together. It starts out slow like a bit of snow rolling down a mountain, it gains more volume as it rolls further down and eventually if unchecked it can turn into a violent avalanche and bury everything in your life. An avalanche of drug and alcohol abuse leads to bad decision making and criminal activities such as domestic violence or driving while under the influence of alcohol or drugs. Such circumstances are why it is important to have a veteran’s court like what New Mexico’s Third Judicial District Attorney’s office is currently working on in collaboration with a number of veteran’s groups. Veteran’s courts are specifically designed to address issues that are specific to veteran offenders and to help them transition back to being productive, healthy, and law abiding citizens.
As Americans we owe our veterans our gratitude and we owe them a debt for numerous reasons. They signed a contract giving their lives and bodies to the government and to this nation, in the hopes to protect freedom and democracy. Most of the general public doesn’t even realize that the United States is one of the few developed nations that doesn’t require a term of military service for citizenship. Our military is entirely comprised of volunteers today and as such we get the best soldiers, sailors, and etc. Maintaining voluntary armed forces is the key to maintaining a high quality military. As we saw in Vietnam many of the young men that were drafted served honorably and proudly because that’s what their country asked of them. However many of the young men that were sent over there found themselves with depression issues, extreme PTSD, habitual drug use, and in general made poor soldiers because they were forced into an extreme situation they didn’t understand, fighting a war they didn’t believe in, in a country they never heard of where it was always raining, either water droplets, blood, or bullets. Treating veterans well, taking care of them and providing robust benefits packages is not only a moral imperative but it offers greater incentives for young people to volunteer for the armed services.
In conclusion it is important to understand veterans and what makes them think the way they do and why they do what they do. It is important to recognize the promise we made to them as a nation and for us to not turn our backs on them after they have sacrificed for us. It is important for them, the individuals, but it is also important for us as a nation to protect veterans and to maintain the number one military in the world. Veteran’s benefits are not handouts or a drain of tax dollars they are debts being paid; the product was freedom brought with not only the blood, sweat, and tears of our best young people but also with their souls and peace of mind.